Meanwhile in the states. My parents used to fly me alone when I was 12 on an airline nicknamed Scare-West.

So asking it to fuck off is the best we can hope for.

Same with my wife. A tummy tuck results in swelling by the end of the day if she pushes it too much. She is still incredibly active, even works as a fitness instructor and her coworkers call her nuts for how much she does. But sometimes she just needs some targeted massaging and rest.

Just yesterday I had my locomotive catch on fire (I drive trains). After hours of dealing with the fire department, and then getting new engines brought out and set up to replace it so the train could get moving again, we got in the van to go home. And what did I see on a huge big screen TV inside the house next to where we were dealing with all of this? Mario64.

I think they need to update the laws regarding light placement. Right now they have to be placed at the top corners of the hood. So trucks and SUVs are forced to have their headlights positioned at eye level with many smaller cars. It’s absolutely bonkers.

Hate me all you want. I’ll burn your eye sockets out with my high beams.

I spent an extreme amount of time aligning my low beams so they don’t point up into people’s eyes. And I drive a fairly low to the ground Hyundai Elantra. I am very careful with those high beams.

I work on-call. Any hour day or night. I frequently go back to sleep after getting called. I have like fifty alarms on my phone.

As an actual Locomotive Engineer (I drive freight trains) I am having a hard time conceptualizing the level of stupidity here.

Years ago we had the kids at the zoo. My son noticed something and called his little sister over (10 & 8 at the time). He said “look, those kids are about to get in trouble” while pointing at some kids chasing a swan on the other side of a river. Sure enough, their mom noticed and started yelling at them. Which made my kids erupt in laughter like it was the greatest thing.

Clearly you have never experienced fried cheese curds on a veal parmesan sandwich with ranch dressing.

Ok, neither have I but where I live in Wisconsin I’m pretty sure I could get that within thirty minutes or less.

Also poutine on a bun.

But an insane president will bluster about things he doesn’t want to actually do (like Canada and Greenland) as a distraction to keep us focused on this nonsense while he raids the government coffers for all the retirement money he can get his grubbly diseased hands on.

As an American, I absolutely love this.