Magic. Two others at random.

If you have to ask, you’re #1.

Not entirely: they provide the lowest common denominator with cheap entertainment. But, you know, the same can be said for the whole show.

When the expert judge speaks, the one who is actually going to give constructive criticism to help you get better at dancing, everyone needs to yell “BOO FUCK OFF” at him like he’s a pantomime Gargamel. Only non-critical criticisms are allowed.

I too value my time with your mum.

They should have thought about that LAST month.

🙄 That’s your answer to everything.

What’s the three-digit pager code for societal collapse?

We will age and die in our office chairs, and our Zalpha children will burn our bodies to fuel their air conditioners. We will finally find our purpose. Don’t worry about us: we are content enough.

We’ve been around for like sixty years now. If we were milk we would have developed culture. But we’re not so we didn’t.

If they make it too hard I’ll stop watching. I have no intention of watching their ads (ads are psychological abuse), and they charge way-yyy too much for premium.

Reasonable point. I shall cogitate on that.

Exactly. If that money has been paid as tax, it might have done more good. He didn’t want people to decide democratically how to spend the money; he wanted to control it himself.

Oh Jesus. Imagine what Nigel Farage would say if he overheard me giving the measurements of my curtains in centimeters. He’d have me catapulted to Rwanda.

It’s because we’re stuck with a bunch of twats who can’t let go of the past. They’ll stick with Imperial measurements, mostly because the word looks like “Imperialist” and that’s the side they want to be on. Jacob Rees-Mogg is a wrought-iron dildo.

I vote it for Best Supporting Caption.

If you gave a fuck about people you wouldn’t underpay them enough to earn a billion dollars off their labour.

I think I must have hit reply on the wrong comment. I’m sorry it seems to have upset you so much.

The trick is to fit exercise into a routine. Work + sleep + family + study can add up to all of the available hours. Subsidised gym won’t help with that.

Eating well: that also takes time. And planning. This is where we should be focusing our attention if we want to improve our country’s health. Not weight loss jabs and not subsidising gyms.