

Be careful about wishing for capitalism to retire.
Oh I know hahah. I’m always careful for what I wish for. I might not always chose the right words to put down but in my head my wish is pretty clear and simple. I wouldn’t wanna be able to say exactly what it was though because then according to the rules of the universe and the wishing laws, it would never come true 🤪
I have little control over, so I don’t worry too much (hehe, that is an enormous lie just so you know:-P) Hah! Yeah I definitely relate to that hahah. I also try not to worry about things that are out of my hands but I still can’t stop thinking about it. I think I’m getting better at not really worrying and just accepting that I am just kind a visitor in this world. I find it to be relieving to not worry about things that are out of my reach, instead concentrating on the things that I can actually touch. However, I still constantly think about everything that is out of my reach, hoping that one day my reach extends either directly or indirectly through other people who I am in contact with. Stoicism is cute in theory but in practice I’m not sure it is, although I haven’t really spent more than a couple hours thinking about it and I have definitely not put it into practice. I tried reading Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations a long time ago but never actually managed to get that far into it.
Holy crap are you my soulmate? J/k - I don’t even believe in that Hahah yeah I don’t know about soul mates. I wish it was real but at this point in my life I’ve lost faith. Also fuck the downvotes, people who actually take time to downvote things that are harmless aren’t worth a second of your time. Not upvoting would end up doing the same thing but no, they have to downvote. It’s trash behaviour from sad people.
About fighting against instant messaging: fwiw, I know my limitations, and therefore work around them. I’m getting much better with it now, although I think it’s because my mental health has just been generally improving overall in the past couple months, making it easier for me to look through the fog at the things that are actually hurting me.
And if it helps to hear from the other side, I would hate to be the cause of any pain for you. Though I am dumb as shit
Aw hahah don’t say that, but I do understand what you mean as I am also dumb as shit. Oops, I said it too. I also believe that everybody has some kind of intelligence and wish more people could see that. Even someone who appears to be dumb as bricks will probably know way more than you in many areas. There’s just so much knowledge to be amassed out there and everybody picks up different bits. Thinking that someone is just 100% stupid and doesn’t know anything just shows a lack of insight or understanding.
Rest easy:-P. Until it is time to rise again:-).
I have! I’ve been feeling too good to stay cooped up at home these past couple days. I guess I haven’t really been resting but the change of scenery has been really nice.



Bahah no worries, literally everybody calls me that. Ok I lied, my parents don’t, but everybody else does!
Yeah you may be right about that. These days however I am working towards being friends with my mother instead of just being her child and that has been kind of a healing experience.
She really hasn’t grown up in a religious family but still, everybody else around was. People were living and breathing in religion. My grandfather hated organized religion though. He stopped going to church very early in his life and never made his children attend which is kind of crazy for someone who grew up in the early 1900s. He saw religious people as sinners looking to be forgiven on Sunday just to start a whole new week of sinning. Dude was an absolute bad ass but he suffered from chronic depression his whole life. I really wish I had the chance to discuss with him more.
Aw, yeah, I understand what you mean. Jobs tend to suck the life and soul out of everything though. You can still be a teacher and not be in the teaching profession but the helper label still has a nice ring to it! I feel the same way though. I have a hard time throwing my energy at someone who can’t be bothered to bounce that energy back at me. It is so exhausting.
Oh I know, but there is a point of diminishing return for time and energy spent on things like that and it comes on real quick. Just gotta realize when that happens and stop.
Hahah I like that comparison. We will probably never know in our lifetimes either, and that’s ok. I have nothing impressive like fireballs to show but I know that people see something in me that I can’t put my finger on. It’s gonna sound like a weird brag but people fucking love me and I’ve never been able to figure out why. All my life I’ve never been able to go to any kind of gathering without having people just flock around me. I’ve always just kinda wanted to be left alone so at gatherings I would try to find a nice quiet corner and have maybe a couple close friends with me, but I would always end up being swarmed and overwhelmed. Maybe that’s my power, people magnet. I have no clue how I would use such a power but I feel I’m getting closer to figuring it out.
EDIT: I will be back for part two at a later time! I’m currently in the process of buying a house and becoming something that I hate, a landlady 🤢. I’m currently having a wild internal battle about this but no matter which way I look at it, I have to do it. Gonna get back to that for a bit but I will be back.