spicy pancake

that’s me, been trapped in that cycle since I had to pay several months’ rent with credit card during covid

aside from some dings due to high credit usage, my score is good. mainly because i have a shit load of cards i opened years ago, so my average account age is high.

I’m not a particularly responsible spender and have a shit ton of debt, but since I make the CC companies a bunch of money by paying balance transfer fees all the time, I’m profitable. So my score is high.

What a stupid world

it does not require a license!

“what the fuck did you just say to me you little bitch!?” –the cat, probably

qUiEtLy listening
so… listening? this “qUiETLy” buzzword needs to fucking die

finally the robots’ true purpose revealed. we created them so we could say more slurs lmao

goddamn it. we can’t have nice things

[vibrates with jimmies being rustled by mismatched meme format]

Oh yeah! Just discovered them recently

here’s a bunch of my surrealtube faves I compiled recently

Sam Barnett
The Diary of Tortov Roddle by JollyRoger
Hot Regards
Museum of Obsolete Objects
PES
xyoureyes
Symmetric Vision
Don’t Hug Me .I’m Scared
Duncan Hatch
Honibloom Dreams by Jeremiah Content
The Shore by Eron Sheean
Sit Down, Don’t Touch Anything by Frederic Siegel
Acid Rain by Tomek Popakul
A Lost Little Puppet by Sans Strings Studio
Ghosts Before Breakfast (soundtrack added because original was lost) by Hans Richter

also check out https://lemmy.zip/c/surrealism@fedia.io

sauce (it’s a great short horror)

especially when they go down staircases, I’ve read

it puts the coochie in the bath or else it gets the straw again

I’m an uncoordinated middle aged poot monster and can confirm the universal utility of the sucky bar has probably saved me from getting several stitches

women 🍵

I didn’t really think of it as a “power” but now that you mention it, I could probably prank the hell out someone with some wacky nonsense. Voof some guava jelly and shoot 'er out the cooter during sex. SURPRISE!!! 🤪

(this will likely never happen as I’m perpetually single. gee i wonder why)

I didn’t either so imagine my fuckin surprise 💀

but then I couldn’t go on the internet! everyone knows there are no girls on the internet!

haha fortunately it only happened at home & not an amount that would have made it outside clothes anyway

I’m the kind of person that tells internet strangers that my cunt vacuumed bath water. you bet I’d be slinging that cognitohazard of truth to anyone unlucky enough to be present lmao

remember to clean your jets regularly i saw a video of someone cleaning the jets for someone who didn’t know you had to clean them and i will never enter a mystery jacuzzi again oh god 🫠

attach suction cups to one side