• SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        4 months ago

        That’s exactly what it is. Unfortunately, a TON of people are in boats like this everywhere. Encourage them to seek help, is what I think would be the best course of action for literally everybody in the entire world.

    • Nocklusamigos@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Why bad? Both husband and wife have something to laugh about. This is one of them and it happens subconsciously. It is worse, when you can’t acknowledge it and take offense at such “life situations”

  • Røøk@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    played videogames for years without a problem, had a PS4 for a year and I swear that little beep gets mapped as a pavlovian reaction for being pissed the fuck off. Started more fights than being hungry.

    • minorkeys@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      She wants you to know what she wants so she doesn’t have to do the work figuring it out, because she wants to be a child again.

      • Sc00ter@lemmy.zip
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        4 months ago

        My wife hates that she “always has to pick the restaurant,” when we go out. I cant make her realize she shot down my first 3 suggestions before asking what she wanted. Yes you pick because everything i suggest you dont want tonight and ill eat everything.

        • minorkeys@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          She can’t figure out what she wants and wants you to solve it, exactly. She has to pick because she wants to want the answers you give but she doesn’t. What’s it like for you to have to go through this repeatedly, does she know or care?

          • Sc00ter@lemmy.zip
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            4 months ago

            Ive gotten over itnas best i can. The worst is when i cook something, and she decides thats not what she wants, so she cooks something else for herself.

            But she also gets upset that she does most of the cooking. Like yeah no shit. I dont need praise from you for everything i do, but less negative reinforcement would go a long way.

            Therapy is helping though. I can hear it in the way she talks to our kids about life and how to treat others. So the realization is coming through

            • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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              4 months ago

              More patient than me. I just got the divorce and now my ex and I are both happier.

              Man I remember telling her one day when she came downstairs and I was feeding our newly diabetic son pancakes with syrup for breakfast and hearing “what are you doing? His blood sugar will go high?”. I stopped told her we would give him more insulin and then gave up and told here it was why I asked for a divorce. At no point was there a good morning. It was right into what I was doing and how it was wrong. God forbid we parent different.

              Long story short I’ve put a lot of work in with the kids and they have every other week with me and I am doing my best to correct the issues created from our 10 years of marriage. Is she aware? I don’t think so. Even when she has the kids they still come to my house and I still have them for sleepovers. They don’t do the same with her.

              In a way I feel sad for her.

  • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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    4 months ago

    Have… Have y’all considered not marrying partners that you don’t share interests with? Like, I know I’m an edge case in that I’m 35, gay, and have never had a live in partner, but it’s really not that scary being single until you find someone you actually enjoy being with. Either it’ll happen or it won’t, but I’d rather be single and able to enjoy my hobbies and passions than be with someone who shares none of them.

    • krashmo@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      You don’t have to share every hobby. You just need to not shame each other for enjoying different things.

      • architect@thelemmy.club
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        4 months ago

        Eh just playing video games isn’t much of a hobby. Most gamers veg like tv watches. I wouldn’t say sitting in front of the tv all day is a hobby. Really low bar for hobbies if so.

        • Minnels@lemmy.zip
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          4 months ago

          Oh no. I lost what i thought was my main hobby. /s

          I think gaming is way more engaging than just watching something where you don’t do a thing but watch. There are many games where you actually have to use your brain, maybe make different choices or immerse yourself in a character. Whatever you are into. Of course there is brain-dead stuff too which can be awesome as well at times.

        • Caesium@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Bro what the fuck. I’m gonna need to see some sources for a claim like that.